Wisdom!

Any tool when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner of the workshop.
-Anthony's Law of the Workshop

On he way to the corner, any dropped tool will first strike your toes.
-Corollary to Anthony's Law of the Workshop

Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor's course.
-Fourth Law of Applied Terror

If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
-Fifth Law of Applied Terror

If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.
-Corollary to the Fifth Law of Applied Terror

What you don't know will always hurt you.
-First Law of Blissful Ignorance

The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches.
-Bove's Theorem

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
-Cannon's Law

The only things that start on time are those that you're late for.
-Cayo's Law

No project was ever completed on time and within budget.
-Cheops Law

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
-Clarke's Third Law

Copiers will break down when there is only one more copy to make.
-Copier Breakdown Principle

Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.
-Ducharme's Precept

In approaching a double door, you will always go to the one door that is locked, pull when you should have pushed, and pushed when the sign says pull.
-Ehre's Double-Door Law

The other line moves faster.
-Etorre's Observation

If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
-Finagle's First Law

Information necessitating a change of design will be conveyed to the designer after and only after the design is complete (Often called the 'Now They Tell Us' Law).
-Fyfe's First Law of Revision

Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.
-Grossman's Law

When you are served a meal aboard an aircraft, the aircraft will encounter turbulence.
-Gunter's First Law of Air Travel

The strength of the turbulence is directly proportional to the temperature of your coffee.
-Gunter's Second Law of Air Travel

There is no limit to how bad things can get.
-Hane's Law

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
-Hartley's First Law

It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take Hofstadter's Law into account.
-Hofstadter's Law

No amount of genius can overcome a preoccupation with detail.
-Levy's Eighth Law

The most important leg of a three legged stool is the one that's missing.
-Lyall's Fundamental Observation

If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.
-Maier's Law

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
-Manley's Maxim

The shortest point between two points is under construction.
-McGregor's Revised Maxim

If at first you don't succeed, read the manual.
-Montgomery's Maxim

Negative expectations yield negative results.
Positive expectations yield negative results.
-Non-Reciprocal Law of Expectations

You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
-Perversity of Nature Law

If you keep anything long enough you can throw it away.
If you throw anything away, you will need it the next day.
-Richard's Complimentary Rule of Ownership

When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.
-Rule of Accuracy

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you have tried.
-Rule of Failure

If you put a spoonful of wine in a barrel of sewage, you get sewage. If you put a spoonful of sewage in a barrel full of wine, you get sewage.
-Schopenhaur's Law of Entropy

A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.
-Segal's Law

Anyone can make a decision given enough facts.
A good manager can make a decision without enough facts.
A perfect manager can operate in perfect ignorance.
-Spencer's Law of Data

If you file it, you'll know where it is - but never need it.
If you don't file it, you'll need it - but never know where it is.
-Tillis' Organizational Principle

Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.
-Wethern's Law

People are always available for work in the past tense.
-Zymurgy's Law of Volunteer Labour