Wisdom!

Any tool when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner of the workshop.
-Anthony's Law of the Workshop

On he way to the corner, any dropped tool will first strike your toes.
-Corollary to Anthony's Law of the Workshop

Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor's course.
-Fourth Law of Applied Terror

If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
-Fifth Law of Applied Terror

If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.
-Corollary to the Fifth Law of Applied Terror

What you don't know will always hurt you.
-First Law of Blissful Ignorance

The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches.
-Bove's Theorem

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
-Cannon's Law

The only things that start on time are those that you're late for.
-Cayo's Law

No project was ever completed on time and within budget.
-Cheops Law

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
-Clarke's Third Law

Copiers will break down when there is only one more copy to make.
-Copier Breakdown Principle

Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.
-Ducharme's Precept

In approaching a double door, you will always go to the one door that is locked, pull when you should have pushed, and pushed when the sign says pull.
-Ehre's Double-Door Law

The other line moves faster.
-Etorre's Observation

If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
-Finagle's First Law

Information necessitating a change of design will be conveyed to the designer after and only after the design is complete (Often called the 'Now They Tell Us' Law).
-Fyfe's First Law of Revision

Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.
-Grossman's Law

When you are served a meal aboard an aircraft, the aircraft will encounter turbulence.
-Gunter's First Law of Air Travel

The strength of the turbulence is directly proportional to the temperature of your coffee.
-Gunter's Second Law of Air Travel

There is no limit to how bad things can get.
-Hane's Law

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
-Hartley's First Law

It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take Hofstadter's Law into account.
-Hofstadter's Law

No amount of genius can overcome a preoccupation with detail.
-Levy's Eighth Law

The most important leg of a three legged stool is the one that's missing.
-Lyall's Fundamental Observation

If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.
-Maier's Law

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
-Manley's Maxim

The shortest point between two points is under construction.
-McGregor's Revised Maxim

If at first you don't succeed, read the manual.
-Montgomery's Maxim

Negative expectations yield negative results.
Positive expectations yield negative results.
-Non-Reciprocal Law of Expectations

You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
-Perversity of Nature Law

If you keep anything long enough you can throw it away.
If you throw anything away, you will need it the next day.
-Richard's Complimentary Rule of Ownership

When working toward the solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the answer.
-Rule of Accuracy

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you have tried.
-Rule of Failure

If you put a spoonful of wine in a barrel of sewage, you get sewage. If you put a spoonful of sewage in a barrel full of wine, you get sewage.
-Schopenhaur's Law of Entropy

A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.
-Segal's Law

Anyone can make a decision given enough facts.
A good manager can make a decision without enough facts.
A perfect manager can operate in perfect ignorance.
-Spencer's Law of Data

If you file it, you'll know where it is - but never need it.
If you don't file it, you'll need it - but never know where it is.
-Tillis' Organizational Principle

Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.
-Wethern's Law

People are always available for work in the past tense.
-Zymurgy's Law of Volunteer Labour

LOL: Roger Ebert Responds to Disaster Movie Fan

It’s not funny enough that someone out there actually liked Disaster Movie, e-mailed Roger Ebert in almost unreadable internet shorthand, but Roger actually took the time out to respond using the reader’s native language.

Question: Yo dude, u missed out on “Disaster Movie,” a hardcore laugh-ur-@zz-off movie! Y U not review this movie!? It was funny as #ell! Prolly the funniest movie of the summer! U never review these, wat up wit dat?

Ebert’s Response: Hey, bro, I wuz buzier than $#i+, @d they never shoed it b4 hand. I peeped in the IMDb and saw it zoomed to #1 as the low$ie$t flic of all time, wit @ lame-@zz UZer Rating of 1.3. U liked it? Wat up wit dat?

HAHA thanks for the link, Ashton.

Sleepcrawling

Old news:

I got to watch the USC Thornton Symphony a few days ago. It was really weird to be sitting in the audience for an orchestra concert for once, rather than performing on stage as I had done for the past few years. The concert was definitely one of the most interesting I've ever been to. The first piece, Wagner's Overture to Reinzi, featured a really powerful horn section. Impressive indeed. The second piece was the most interesting, in my opinion. Titled Turangalila-Symphonie, it's an 80-minute piece composed by Messiaen, who required 2 years to write it for the Boston Symphony. I cannot describe how fascinated I was with this one; every section seemed to have its own rhythm, its own melody, and yet the entire orchestra was together. There was no unifying rhythm, as with traditional classical pieces. Finally, the 10th and final movement featured one of the most unusual instruments I've ever seen, called the ondes Martenot, which replicates both the human voice as well as the chirps of a bird. The woman who played it, Mary Chun, is one of only two people in the United States who can play the instrument. Freaking cool.

New news:

I sleptwalked for about the 2nd time in my life (1st time was in Houston over the summer). I took a nap on top of my sheets at 2:15am and told Tim to wake me up at 2:40am. The next thing I remember is that I woke up at 10am...UNDER my sheets. First thought: "How the hell did I get under my sheets..."

Apparently, according to Tim, this is what happened:
1. 2:40am: Tim wakes me up. I sit up, then fall asleep.
2. 3:30am: Tim wakes me up. I sit up, then fall asleep again. Tim lets me sleep.
3. 4:00am: I'm still sleeping. Tim closes the door, turns off the lights, and goes to sleep. He says I was still on top of my sheets when he went to sleep.
4. 10:00am: I wake up, apparently under my sheets.

So how did I get there...? o.o Sleepcrawling HAHA

Play Kiss

Even without words what volumes do kisses speak. Its books are written by lovers who've made a pact. "Speak" carefully, for few words are so sweet yet so bitter when broken.

Point and Shoot, Point and Shoot

I made a new friend at a Bio review session. Her name's Nicole, and she's from Hawaii. Great, that makes about the 25th Hawaiian person I've met at USC. The session ended at around 9, and since we were like the only two people who haven't eaten dinner yet, we went to get food at EVK. And there, she fed me what is perhaps the strangest sandwich ever.

Ingredients:
1. Raisin bread
2. Mayonnaise
3. Mayonnaise with sun-dried tomatoes
4. Mustard
5. Tomatoes
6. Ham

I think it was this sandwich that bloated my stomach to unexplainable reaches. On top of that, I had to walk with that stupid food baby all the way back to Parkside. It was without doubt the most painful yet most laughable walk across campus I've had so far. Back at Parkside, I experienced my first food baby sneeze. It was freaking PAINFUL. What followed was half an hour of clutching my food baby while kneeling next to the toilet, wanting to rid myself of the pain by puking, but not quite wanting to give up. Then I got to spawl on a chair for another hour, during which my suitemates actually thought I'd died.

Next followed a wonderful conversation:
12:04:24 AM [censored]: okay so you know how you have
12:04:29 AM [censored]: sympathetic/parasympathetic
12:05:05 AM [censored]: so parasympathetic is involved in erection
12:05:11 AM [censored]: and sympathetic is involved in ejaculation
12:05:22 AM [censored]: so Parasympathetic = point
12:05:27 AM [censored]: and Sympathetic = shoot
12:05:31 AM [censored]: point and shoot
12:05:31 AM [censored]: HAHAHAHA

HAHAHA

Phenom?

My brother told me today about this guy I knew from elementary school.
1. Name: Corey Neilson
2. Sport: Football
3. Position: Quarterback
4. Last year, he was ranked first in the state in passing (for high school players)
5. Last year, he was ranked second in the nation in passing (for high school players)
6. Last year, he led Gahr High to a CIF title, and was MVP
7. Last year, he was a JUNIOR

o.o what the...
and he's Filipino too...?

CRAZY

Omgad

I'm really worn out. Yeppp.

BIG BALLS PETE! BIG BALLS PETE!

Old events:
1. Came within 10 feet of Akon at the Beverly Center last last Saturday
2. I'm now registered to vote!

Okay, on to the new (well now it's old) news...

I attended my first football game EVER last Saturday, and it honestly rates in the top 10 of my greatest experiences. It felt so great to be immersed in the full spirit of USC that makes me so proud to be a Trojan. It was also fun learning the fight song on the morning of the game. FIGHT ON!

WHERE MY PARTY PEOPLE AT

I took a hip hop dance class today. And I think I'm going to drop it now. I seriously cannot dance the way the instructor did. As in, dirty-south-ghetto hip hop. I think it's fun to dance like that, just not for an entire semester. Good-bye, hip hop dance class!

My suite held a dance party tonight. It was a pretty good party, considering we didn't really start planning until this morning.

Unfortunately, the party only lasted an hour, because DPS eventually came -_-

This Should've Been Posted 2 Days Ago

Yeahh...I was too lazy 2 days ago, so here's for a late blog post.

I got checked out by a girl o.o I was walking back to Parkside with Alejandro, when this girl walked by me and smiled at me. I think I unintentionally smiled back because the sun was in my eyes, so I was actually squinting. When the girl was gone, Alejandro was like "DAAAYUM BOY, that girl kept checking you out even after we passed her!"

I wonder if she was hot...stupid sun HAHA.

In other news, my left buttcheek is sore. I was doing some *hardcore* ballet the other night. Massage anyone? HAHA

Nicole once again broke the record for latest time stayed in my/Tim's room. 3:30am. I need to start enforcing my sign.

Already September?

Back at USC! And as hate as it hurts to say it, I kinda looked forward to coming back. At home, I realized how much of a bubble Cerritos is.

Two moments of the day:
1. Eric randomly called me, essentially to tell me that he was thinking of me. Dangit man, why'd you have to make me feel so special? I miss you so much, man.
2. While I was talking to Loris via Skype, her mom came in and asked where my voice was coming from. While Loris was explaining, her mom was like, "IS HE UNDER YOUR BED?!" HAHAHAHA